Okay, I admit it, I am overweight! I am about six sizes to big and will probably remain so for the rest of my life. Am I happy?
Well, yes in the respect that I don't dwell on my weight or sit wringing my hands in despair at the thought of being overweight. But no, in the respect that I would like to be thin again. I once was a size 12 and looked pretty darn good. But that was when I was a whole lot younger than I am now and keeping slim was easy. Then I had reasons, like attracting the opposite sex and being able to wear the newest fashions.
My husband is a wonderful man, who loves me whether I'm fat or thin. He doesn't care about the fact I'm overweight. He thinks I'm beautiful and sexy no matter what because he loves me for who I am. And as for fashion, well I left that behind years ago. I learned long ago to wear what suits you not what society dictates.
So, there's the rub, my incentives to lose weight have gone and I'm destined to live with my thin self shouting to get out. I quieten her with with a tub of ice-cream or a block of chocolate, usually!
Actually being overweight isn't as bad as it used to be. Many more clothes shops are catering for outsize, now, so I can wear great clothes without having to look like my grandmother! And when the famine comes I'll last that bit longer than the thinnies because I'll have my fat reserves to live on!
So BOOOOORAHHHH to all the stick, thin fashionistas who try to make us believe that we should all look like skeletons and HOOOOOOORAHHHHHHH to womanly curves and proud of it!
Wednesday 31 October 2007
Thursday 25 October 2007
N is for Nostalgia
I found my journal last week. I started keeping a journal when I was about 17 and stopped just before my second son was born.
As I was reading it I went through a variety of emotions, cringeing at the flowery, over romantic writing for one thing! I laughed at some pages, felt sadness at others and relived my joy at others. I'm about half way through reading it and am remembering some wonderful moments from my life.
Like the day my first son was born. The emotion is so raw on the page, I poured my heart out over the joy of his birth but the fear he wouldn't survive. He was born 9 weeks prem and suffered several complications before he actually came home to live with us. To relive those days was a humbling experience because I relied so heavily on my prayers and the blessings given by some wonderful priesthood members who are no longer with us.
Then there are the fun times, the times I had with my friends and the many boys I dated! I got to relive those times with people who are no longer in my life.
It got me thinking how important our past is, how it shapes our future and makes us who we are. To dwell on it would be wrong but to have a visit back there once in awhile refreshes our spirit.
As I was reading it I went through a variety of emotions, cringeing at the flowery, over romantic writing for one thing! I laughed at some pages, felt sadness at others and relived my joy at others. I'm about half way through reading it and am remembering some wonderful moments from my life.
Like the day my first son was born. The emotion is so raw on the page, I poured my heart out over the joy of his birth but the fear he wouldn't survive. He was born 9 weeks prem and suffered several complications before he actually came home to live with us. To relive those days was a humbling experience because I relied so heavily on my prayers and the blessings given by some wonderful priesthood members who are no longer with us.
Then there are the fun times, the times I had with my friends and the many boys I dated! I got to relive those times with people who are no longer in my life.
It got me thinking how important our past is, how it shapes our future and makes us who we are. To dwell on it would be wrong but to have a visit back there once in awhile refreshes our spirit.
Sunday 14 October 2007
M is for Mathew and Mother
Mathew is my third son. He is the most laid back of my kids. He is quiet and keeps his own company much of the time but he is good fun when he lets you in! He was my baby until Jamie came along and very much mine. He was the one who always wanted to sit on my knee and have a cuddle. He has always been a very sensitive lad who wears his heart on his sleeve. He is very emotional, very caring and thoughtful. I worry most about him as he has never been a streetwise person, he has a kind of innocence about him and he could easily be taken advantage of. However, he is living on his own in a flat and has been promoted to warehouse manager at the shop he works for so he really has blossomed and come into his own.
I need to write about my mum because she is so important to me. She has always been my best friend. She is a shining light in my life and I've always tried to follow the example she sets.
My mum is one of the most loving and caring people I have ever met. She once sent my dad out with a coat to give to a lady who used walk past our house. Mum had noticed this lady had never worn a coat even on the coldest days so she had my dad take one of hers. The lady was so appreciative and wore that coat for many years. Mum didn't want praise for it or adulation, she just saw somebody in need and she fulfilled it. That's the kind of person she is.
When we were growing up, my mum would not let us argue and fight, she encouraged us to love each other and to sort our differences out in other ways. She never raised her hand to us, she was always able to discipline us in a loving way. She is also great fun to be around. Whenever we were upset she could always get us laughing by doing silly dances and singing silly songs. She loves her family with an unconditional love and shows it every day.
She also loves the gospel of Jesus Christ. She tries her hardest to live the principles of our faith and is one of the humblest people I've ever met. She reads the scriptures every day and can teach the most awesome lessons. She used to be Gospel Doctrine teacher and everybody loved her class. Now she teaches in Relief Society and her lessons are always interesting and uplifting.
She has been married to my dad for 49 years this December and they are so good together. My mum is the one who keeps my dad on the right path. My dad adores her and tells everybody what a blessing she is to him. Their marriage is solid because it is built on mutual love and respect for each other. As parents they are a great example of what love can accomplish.
I love my mum so much and I hope that I have been even half as good to my kids as she has been to us.
I need to write about my mum because she is so important to me. She has always been my best friend. She is a shining light in my life and I've always tried to follow the example she sets.
My mum is one of the most loving and caring people I have ever met. She once sent my dad out with a coat to give to a lady who used walk past our house. Mum had noticed this lady had never worn a coat even on the coldest days so she had my dad take one of hers. The lady was so appreciative and wore that coat for many years. Mum didn't want praise for it or adulation, she just saw somebody in need and she fulfilled it. That's the kind of person she is.
When we were growing up, my mum would not let us argue and fight, she encouraged us to love each other and to sort our differences out in other ways. She never raised her hand to us, she was always able to discipline us in a loving way. She is also great fun to be around. Whenever we were upset she could always get us laughing by doing silly dances and singing silly songs. She loves her family with an unconditional love and shows it every day.
She also loves the gospel of Jesus Christ. She tries her hardest to live the principles of our faith and is one of the humblest people I've ever met. She reads the scriptures every day and can teach the most awesome lessons. She used to be Gospel Doctrine teacher and everybody loved her class. Now she teaches in Relief Society and her lessons are always interesting and uplifting.
She has been married to my dad for 49 years this December and they are so good together. My mum is the one who keeps my dad on the right path. My dad adores her and tells everybody what a blessing she is to him. Their marriage is solid because it is built on mutual love and respect for each other. As parents they are a great example of what love can accomplish.
I love my mum so much and I hope that I have been even half as good to my kids as she has been to us.
Saturday 13 October 2007
Tuesday 9 October 2007
L is for Lacey and Love
I had to write about Lacey, didn't I? She is my little princess. She has her daddy's curly hair and big brown eyes and is the most beautiful, adorable, gorgeous, lovely (you get the picture!) baby girl ever born. She is a contented, happy baby and is always smiling. She is crawling and walking around the furniture now so everything has to be baby-proofed against her little fingers. She follows her big brother around like a little puppy but he thinks she's more of a nuisance at the moment. My grandchildren are so precious and to have the little girl I've always wanted is wonderful. It's so nice to be able to buy dolls and girly stuff for once instead of cars and tough stuff!
And then there's luuuurrrrrrvvvvvve. I've always been a romantic, reading Barbara Cartland novels from the age of thirteen. I know, I know those awful slushy romances aren't anything like real life but to a thirteen year old who believed in white knights on chargers, they were wonderful. I graduated from them to Mills and Boon at around age sixteen so I guess I had no taste in authors for awhile. But those books fed my belief that there is somebody out there who is your true soul mate and one day you will find them. I kissed quite a few frogs before I found mine but once I did, I knew.
The old saying that 'It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all,' is so true. I have had my heart broken a few times but to have never experienced the heady feeling of being in love would have been far worse. When I was young I fell 'in love' at the drop of a hat but soon realised that there is a whole lot more to being in love than butterflies in the stomach and loss of appetite.
Being in love with somebody requires a lot of effort!
It is wanting the best for that person, giving as much as taking, making sacrifices, being a friend, not being able to imagine life without them, putting up with their friends, their hobbies and their weird ways and taking the good with the bad. It's a rush when it first hits you then settles into a warm, comfortable feeling that grows with your life together. Sometimes it hurts like hell and other times it gives you goosebumps but it always makes your life worth living.
LONG LIVE LOVE!
And then there's luuuurrrrrrvvvvvve. I've always been a romantic, reading Barbara Cartland novels from the age of thirteen. I know, I know those awful slushy romances aren't anything like real life but to a thirteen year old who believed in white knights on chargers, they were wonderful. I graduated from them to Mills and Boon at around age sixteen so I guess I had no taste in authors for awhile. But those books fed my belief that there is somebody out there who is your true soul mate and one day you will find them. I kissed quite a few frogs before I found mine but once I did, I knew.
The old saying that 'It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all,' is so true. I have had my heart broken a few times but to have never experienced the heady feeling of being in love would have been far worse. When I was young I fell 'in love' at the drop of a hat but soon realised that there is a whole lot more to being in love than butterflies in the stomach and loss of appetite.
Being in love with somebody requires a lot of effort!
It is wanting the best for that person, giving as much as taking, making sacrifices, being a friend, not being able to imagine life without them, putting up with their friends, their hobbies and their weird ways and taking the good with the bad. It's a rush when it first hits you then settles into a warm, comfortable feeling that grows with your life together. Sometimes it hurts like hell and other times it gives you goosebumps but it always makes your life worth living.
LONG LIVE LOVE!
Thursday 4 October 2007
Another birthday!
It was my birthday on Monday. I'm not saying how old I was but I was born in 1960!
I certainly don't feel my age (well not always), inside I feel like I'm still eighteen. Somebody asked me if I wished I still was but I can honestly say a resounding NO to that. I wouldn't want to go back to my teenage years, all that angst about boyfriends and makeup and fashion. Then there's the whole bringing up babies years after that. No, I like being where I am now. My life is my own, the boys are grown and making their own way in the world and I have time to relax.
I like being middle aged. I don't have to fit in with my peers, I don't have to worry about finding a partner and I can wear comfy shoes and big knickers without feeling old fashioned!
So I embrace my age and say to you all, age is just a state of mind. Here's my recipe for a happy life, I aim to follow to the letter!
Act your shoe size not your age, occasionally, laugh everyday and go skidding into old age with glee!
I certainly don't feel my age (well not always), inside I feel like I'm still eighteen. Somebody asked me if I wished I still was but I can honestly say a resounding NO to that. I wouldn't want to go back to my teenage years, all that angst about boyfriends and makeup and fashion. Then there's the whole bringing up babies years after that. No, I like being where I am now. My life is my own, the boys are grown and making their own way in the world and I have time to relax.
I like being middle aged. I don't have to fit in with my peers, I don't have to worry about finding a partner and I can wear comfy shoes and big knickers without feeling old fashioned!
So I embrace my age and say to you all, age is just a state of mind. Here's my recipe for a happy life, I aim to follow to the letter!
Act your shoe size not your age, occasionally, laugh everyday and go skidding into old age with glee!
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