Wednesday 22 August 2007

F is for Faith

My faith is very important to me. I am a member of the LDS church or Mormon as we are commonly called, owing to us believing in the Book of Mormon as well as the Bible. I am a second generation Mormon. My parents were baptized almost 50 years ago. My siblings and I were brought up to live the principles of our gospel.
I have to say I didn't always believe in it. During my early teens I strayed and refused to have anything to do with the church or it's teachings. Then I met and married my first husband who wanted to investigate the church so I started going back and found my testimony once more. We were sealed together in the Temple and led a full and happy life in our church. Then my husband had an affair after 11 years of marriage. I was devastated, I didn't believe this could happen to a couple who were supposed to be working together to make a forever family. But being a member of the church doesn't stop the world from leaching in.
I had four children, my marriage was over and I slowly drifted away from the church again. I felt that the Lord had abandoned me so I abandoned him. I lived a life that was totally out of accord with the church's teachings, for a second time. I stayed that way for many years.
I wasn't unhappy though. I met and married a wonderful man who loves me and my children and who has given us a very happy life. I made some very good friends who continue to be there for me at all times and I thought my life was complete again.
But I always felt that one day, when my scars had healed, I would return to my faith. That time came a last year, when a wonderful missionary couple, Elder and sister Barnley, came to work in Scunthorpe. They visited me on several occasions. I rejected them but they kept coming. Eventually, I let them in and they started to love me back to the church. They listened to me without judgement and without any expectations but gradually helped me to see that I needed to be back where I belonged.
From the moment I walked back into church, I felt like I've come home. I have my faith back. I am reading my scriptures again and gaining spiritual strength from them. I know that God loves me, that Jesus is my Saviour and that he died for me and the Holy Ghost truly does surround us with his spirit.
It wasn't easy to change my lifestyle and to tell my friends I was changing it. But because they are true friends, they have accepted these changes without any ridicule or jibes. It wasn't easy to explain to my husband, who is a complete agnostic, that I wanted to return to church. But, again, because he truly loves me, he has accepted my life change without question.
I am so thankful that I have taken this step because my life is now back on the right track and I am once again truly happy and contented.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I always admire so much when people recommit to something after falling off the horse not just once, but twice. It seems like most people, once they slip away a second time give up on ever trying again. I'm so glad you found the right missionaries to help you find your faith again. And good for you for listening to your heart regardless of the past!

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